Slavery to be reinstated in Singapore

The Singapore Conservative Liberal Coalition has decided to reinstate slavery into the Singapore but with stringent strings attached.

People are now only allowed to own slaves for a single twenty-four period, and only if they are a foreign worker in Singapore. Thus, if a foreign worker is found without his employer with him or her, he can be kept as a slave for one day. This applies to all workers coming from foreign lands that have established a free trade agreement with Singapore. Some examples of such countries include Bangladesh, Philippines and Indonesia.

Loo Mun Cheong, who will be in charge of reinstating slavery in Singapore, said that “This new law came after it has been found that there has been too many foreign workers loitering around the public spaces meant for Singaporeans. Having this ‘intermittent slavery’ law can help keep their numbers in check in public.”

“To put it simply,” said Loo “If you find a foreign worker lying by the streets, you will be legally allowed to keep them as a slave for a whole day.”

It had been debated as to whether or not this time frame should be longer, like a week. However, Loo mentioned that in the interview that “extending the time frame may get the Singaporean masters into murky legal waters such as feeding them, and putting them up.” Thus, for this reason, a single day has been allocated.

“This also means that there will be less pressure on the police as they do not have to go around monitoring and ensuring that this foreign workers behaves,” said Loo, “and the people who used to be harassed by these workers, will instead have somebody to wash the car, clean the toilets and feed the cat.”

Critics of the plan have asked what happens if a group of foreign workers are caught together, and the Singaporean masters are unable to accommodate all the foreign workers into their small HDB flats.

“This be an opportunity for bartering and trading of slaves,” said Loo. “For those people who have caught a slave but do not have much jobs for them to do, they can trade or sell their slaves to somebody who needs one for the day. ”

Naturally, foreign workers are not looking forward to the new scheme.

One foreign worker that was interviewed mentioned that he was sadden by the new scheme. Parvlou Bindish Krishnan, a construction worker, said that “I always sit on the field drinking Laos beer with my friends at the field opposite Jurong Point Shopping Centre. Now, we have to hide from the Singaporeans in case they catch us and make us clean their homes or carry heavy things.” Parvlou added that “We will now have to find a new place to hide away from the Singaporeans.”

The new scheme, however, has been thoroughly praised by Singaporeans.

Teh Choon Bing, a Singaporean resident, believe that this is a good scheme that can help keep wages low in Singapore.  “I used to employ workers to work at my construction site” said Teh, “now I can just fired all of them and try to catch them back to get free labour!”

DragonEyez, a contributer at the popular Hardwarezone forums, exclaimed “I used to hate seeing foreign workers crowding around my estate. After this scheme is implemented, I will be very happy seeing them. I can try to catch a maid to help me carry my heavy bags before I book into camp. Or try to catch an ang moh to help teach my brother tuition so that I don’t have to do so, the possibility is limitless!”

The new law will be reinstated on 20th May 2012. Employers of foreigner workers are advised to keep their workers homes in order prevent having their workers taken away from them for 24 hours.

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Singapore Flyer Sold For S$304 Million As Mother’s Day Present

SINGAPORE – The Singapore Flyer, a giant Ferris wheel located in Singapore, has been sold to Mr Pereira Pak Hoan, an Indonesian businessman, for a sum of S$ 304 Million Dollars. Mr Pereira has decided to purchase the Ferris wheel after bringing his aging mother to take a ride on the Singapore Flyer. During the ride, Mdm Pereira has expressed her delight about the magnificent view on-top the giant Ferris wheel, it was then Mr Pereira has decided to purchase the Singapore Flyer as a present for the upcoming Mother’s Day.

Mdm Pereira commented that she was pleasantly surprised that her son had bought the entire Ferris wheel for her. “I was initially shocked when Pak told me that he was going to buy the Ferris Wheel for me, but I guess it is just his way of expressing filial piety.” says Mdm Pereira.

“I wanted to thank my mother for single-highhandedly bringing up me and my 4 other siblings.  Buying this Ferris wheel for her is the least I can do to repay my mum for her sacrifice.” added Mr Pereira.

The sale process, which is scheduled to start this week, will be managed by an undisclosed Singapore Bank.

Mr Francis Soh, a spokesman for the Singapore Flyer, declined to comment.

Located in the prestigious Marina Bay area, the Singapore Flyer is located close to the Marina Bay Sands Integrated Resort. The national icon described by its operators as an observation wheel, reaches 42 stories high, with a total height of 165 m (541 ft), making it the tallest Ferris wheel in the world, 5 m (16 ft) taller than the Star of Nanchang and 30 m (98 ft) taller than the London Eye. Each of the 28 air-conditioned capsules is capable of holding 28 passengers, and a complete rotation of the wheel takes about 30 minutes.

The Singapore Flyer will be renamed into “Pereira Wheel” after the acquisition.  It is unsure whether the public will be allowed to enter the Flyer after the acquisition.

 

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All Bus Stops in Singapore to Recieve New Fencing

SINGAPORE – All new bus stops in Singapore will be undergoing new upgrades to improve safety for school going kids.

Operators have decided place a new fence in-front of every bus stop in Singapore after receiving several complains from parents about the lack of safety of the current bus stops.

The announcement was made by the transport operators in a joint statement on Tuesday.

Tay Soo Lian, parents of 3 school going kids, have reacted positively to the news. ” I think that it is a great idea to add a fence in-front of every bus stop as it helps increase safety for small kids. I have seen kids running dangerously towards the road to flag down the bus before it even stops. What if they accidentally fall down and gets hit by the bus? So dangerous!”

Since the news of the new upgrading has spread, several angry commuters has wrote in to the local newspapers complaining about the inconvenience of having to climb over the fence in order to board the bus.  However, transport operators believe that the new measures will be beneficial for society in the long run.

All bus stops will receive the new upgrades by the end of the year.

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Singaporean Man Loses Wife in Poker Game

A Singaporean man lost his wife in a game of Texas Holdem after putting her up as a stake instead of cash.

Lim Tai Hua had run out of money in a game of poker and offered his opponents his wife instead of cash to stay in the game. His opponents who were all single at that time, gladly accepted the deal.

When he lost the game and his opponent Emmanuel Chin turned up to claim his winnings. Lim’s wife Xin Hua was so angry that she decided to divorce her husband and started a relationship with Emmanuel.

She has since married Emmanuel, and said she does not regret leaving her first husband.

She said: ‘It was humiliating and I was utterly ashamed. But as soon as my ex-husband did that I knew I had to leave him. How could anyone stand living with a jerk like this?’

‘Emmanuel was a very handsome, charming man and I am very happy with him, even if he did “win” me in a poker game.’

Lim declined to be interviewed.

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Hiker attacked by mudskipper at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve

A Singaporean nature lover was chased and attacked by a mudskipper during his morning hike at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve around 9am, 19th February. Revealing himself only as Mr Rick for fear of embarrassment, Mr Rick a veteran nature enthusiast and an animal lover recounts the horrifying experience to our news team.

It was just like every other Sunday morning. After a simple breakfast and some light stretching, Mr Rick with 3 other friends would head down to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve, one of the largest patches of rainforest left in Singapore, to enjoy the flaura and fauna of nature. In his light hiking gear, Mr Rick strolled through the reserve, happy to be away from the hustle and bustle of nature. He noticed a mudskipper in his path about 10metres away from him, but paid no attention to it. ”It looked like just any other harmless mudskipper” Mr Rick quipped.

As he approached the amphibious fish, the mudskipper suddenly leapt towards Mr Rick and clawed his thigh with its pectoral fins. “At this moment i was flabbergasted. I could not believe what i was seeing. It was like it laid in wait for me to walk by, all ready to pounce on me.” cried the hiker. His instinctive knee jerk flipped the fish several metres away. But the fish spun back to its aggressive stance all ready to pounce again.

“This was when i knew i had to run” exclaimed Mr Rick. He took to his heels and spun off in the opposite direction. To his bewilderment, the mudskipper gave chase. It was only after 300m of blindly dashing into the forestation when he managed to shake off the creature. “I kept looking behind to make sure it wasn’t following me” said Mr Rick who was still visibly shaken by the experience.

Mudskippers are fish “uniquely adapted to intertidinal habititats, they are rather active out of water, feeding and interacting with one another, for example defending their territories” says a marine biologist. They are able to catapult their bodies up to 2 feet in the air, as well as using their fins to move around in a series of skips, as its name implies. Over 18 species have been described.

Authorities have told the public to stay calm, yet in the meantime not to provoke stray mudskippers they encounter in nature reserves. Should one encounter a visibly angry mudskipper, “raise up both your arms in a surrender pose and take slow steady steps back” says experts.

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Chinese Man adopted by Singaporean Family

SINGAPORE – It was a Friday evening in February in Singapore. Davis Tan, a 21 year old Chinese male who is obsessed with smoking and eating Fishball noodles, was still sleeping in his makeshift cage in his white undies.

When we slowly approached him, he woke up and stared at us blankly. We asked him if he could tell us a little more about himself. He pushed back his black hair and started telling us his story.

“I was born on Sept. 22, 1990,” he said. “My mom was 15 at the time. She couldn’t take care of me then, and she gave me to my grandma. It was only going to be for a few short months.”

It was, in fact, the beginning of 14 years of permanently temporary living for Davis, much of his childhood spent in homes where he didn’t really belong and, toward the end, with a few exceptions, wasn’t really wanted — at least, as far as he could tell.

Davis’s grandmother gave him back to his mother when Davis was 7. Davis’s mother abandoned the boy at age 11. She left Davis at Toa Payoh Adoption Centre, whereby he was waiting patiently for potential families to take him in.

In the next three years Davis lived in eight foster homes and two emergency shelters.

Then, just when it seemed nobody would ever give him a real home, an unlikely Singaporean couple stepped forward: Newlyweds Susan Lim and Eric Chai, only 26 and 27 themselves, said they wanted to adopt him. Susan was one of his social workers and Eric was a teacher teaching biology lab classes at a popular secondary school in Singapore. However, they had a condition. Davis had to be placed in a cage so that he couldn’t run around the house and make a mess of everything.

Davis reluctantly agreed to the conditions because he was desperate and in need of a good family to take care of him. However, he added that he was beginning to get use to the feeling of living in a cage. Ever since he was adopted, Davis has been sleeping, relieving himself and taking his 3 meals in his cage. Once a day, Davis will be let out of the cage for an hour for him to run around the house.

Although the adoption can’t be formalized for at least five months, Davis said that he feels that he is already part of the family. He believed that this could be a happy-ever-after ending to the story of his permanently temporary childhood.

“This isn’t something we’re just trying out,” said Susan, beside Eric on the couch.

“We’re making a huge commitment to him, and he’s making a huge commitment to us,” Eric said. “It’s forever. Family doesn’t give up on each other. … I tell him he’s our firstborn. He’s our son. He always will be.”

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Rat Milk to Be Imported in the form of Milk Powder to Singapore

SINGAPORE – giàu có, a distributor from Vietnam will be importing a new type of baby milk powder, featuring milk from field rats, into Singapore.

In the past, Vietnam farmers trapped field rats in order to prevent them from damaging the crops. However, the trapped rats slowly found their way into the local diets, and it has been dietary staple ever since. Vietnam is one of the largest supplier of rat meat and its products in the world. For instance, official numbers reveal that Vietnam exports four tons of rat meat to Thailand and Cambodia daily.

giàu có begun to dabble into the production of milk powder after its founder, người sáng lập, managed to find a way to extract milk from the dead caresses of trapped rats.

When probed about the dangers of consuming rat milk, người sáng lập mentioned, “Singaporeans who are worried about the quality of the milk, can be assured that most of field rats used in the production of the milk powder comes from the countryside which are believed to be much cleaner and toxic free. Only a very small proportion of rats used comes from sewer that are found in city areas.”

Nutritional experts has pointed out that during the production process, the milk powder will be heated to a temperature of 70 degrees which allows the pathogens and germs to be destroyed. Thus, consumers do not have to worry about the germs and toxic that comes from the sewer rats.

Milk from field rats is said to be nutritious as it contains probiotics and key nutrients that will support the child’s natural defences. What’s more, rat’s milk contains 10,000 mg of DHA, the highest DHA level among all types of milk sold in Singapore.

giàu có will be marketing the milk powder under the name of chuột sữa in Singapore. chuột sữa which literally means “Rat Milk” will be available on the shelves of major supermarkets and stores by June this year.

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Mattel expands into Singapore market with new ‘Steve Lin’ Barbie Doll

SINGAPORE – Popular toy manufacturer, Mattel, has announced that it is expanding into the hard-to-crack Singapore market with a new version of their flagship doll, Barbie. The new product – A barbie doll that looks like Steve Lin – has already caused buying frenzies and toy stalls from Jurong Point to Tampines Mall. The doll is affectionately called Stevbie doll by its fans.

‘Stevbie is proving a real gifting hit with auntie and uncles everywhere,’ said Mattel CEO, Robert Eckert. ‘We’re particularly proud of the pull-string martyrdom feature. One tug, and Stevbie goes moving wildly in its yellow g-string. It even makes a tranny squeak ‘Thank you for saying I am Sesy!’ or ‘I loves my fans’. There’s no doubt it’s the new toy every child wants, and any kid lucky enough to get their hands on one will definitely be the most popular kid in school.

With regards to accessories, Eckert says Mattel realized early on that an Stevbie simply wouldn’t be complete – or allowed to be seen in public – without a new set of exchangeable undies. The add-on pack includes a, never seen before, Barbie bra, g-strings and lacy lingerie that can be fitted onto Stevbie.

‘The addition of exchangable undies would make Stevbie an irresistible toy for any kid.” quipped Eckert, “Kids will never get bored if they can constantly change the outfit for Stevbie.” Eckert mentioned that he got his inspiration when he saw drag queens parading at Changi Village.

Aaron Tan, one of the lucky few kids who managed to get the doll says that he enjoys playing with his doll. “I have always  liked to parade and dance around with nothing but my underwear. Steve Lin has always been my role model and I won’t want to be anything except for him.”, Aaron says.

Aaron’s mother approves of his son’s obsession with Steve Lin. She thinks that Steve Lin is a guy with a good character and all kids should model after him. “He may be loud, but he is a very confident man that can dance well. I hope that one day, my son can be famous like him “. In order to encourage Aaron to be more like Steven, Aaron’s mum has bought him a collectors edition Stevbie with stick on sushi bits. A doll like this can be worth up to $15,000 on the open market, since there is only 10 in existence in the whole world.

Despite the doll’s success, Eckert has admitted that the product’s development and production hasn’t been entirely without its complications. ‘The whole venture has been something of a departure from the norm. Usually a big corporation like us would use ‘safer’ concept as such never seen before products can be quite risky.’ However, Eckert was glad he took the risk due to the success of the Stevbie doll. Mattel would be exporting the dolls around the world in order to meet the demand from across the globe starting March 2012.

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